Heal Your Deepest Wounds
by WinterForever
Summary: AU. Ghouls and humans were separated over fifty years ago. Ken Kaneki, a natural born ghoul, lives in the fourth ward with his mother, and every other ghoul in the country. Containment of the ghouls seems organized, but Kaneki learns that there are plenty of things that don't add up. The more he digs, the more horrifying the reality seems. And the more he needs to know the truth.
1. Cobarde

Chapter 1: Cobarde

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

" _Attention fourth ward. Convict to be released in five minutes. Hachiro Maeda. Thirty-seven years old. Seven counts of child molestation. Possession of child pornography. Attempted kidnapping. Guilty on all charges. Sentenced to the fourth ward. Thank you for your cooperation."_ The static filled voice blared through the speakers. A pleasant sounding women. The voice could be heard all across the fourth ward, at each corner stop. Kaneki shuddered. Did these women they hired understand what happened to the convicted dumped here?

Kaneki quickly ducked under the awning of a nearby shop. Ghouls were going to be rushing to his location, to the ward center. Most to participate, some, like him, to watch.

But by staying here, just out of the way yet still in the center, people could be safe. No one tried anything in the center. There were cameras, right next to the speakers, something the rest of the ward lacked. They pointed dutifully and silently at all and everything in the center. For that reason, many people flocked here during the daylight hours. Having a home near the center was ideal. Kaneki wasn't so lucky. But his mother always urged him to stay here, to spend as much as his time here as he could. But his mother would never come with him, instead she would stay behind in their tiny little apartment sewing or stitching- any small work she could get her hands on.

A small part of Kaneki wondered if she insisted he spend his days in the center just to be free of him, they didn't live in the worst part of the ward after all. It hurt him to consider this, but in the end it didn't really matter. This is where he wanted to be anyways.

Kaneki stuffed his hands as deep into his pockets as he could. Bodies were flooding into the center through alleys and backstreets. There were less and less releases lately, and in result the ghouls were more and more excitable when they did happen.

Kaneki was slammed into from behind and fell to his knees. The was no apology that followed. Kaneki couldn't even tell who bumped into him in the rush. Quickly jumping back up to his feet, Kaneki tried to find somewhere better to stand.

The speakers began blearing, a dull siren everyone recognized immediately. Kaneki's eyes locked on the command building on the far side of the ward's center. The entire building was on a raised platform, nearly four feet tall. The platform went out a few yards past the building's entrance, like a stage.

There was a loud clanging noise- the door to the command building opening. No one dared rush the entrance. Nothing good had ever came from that.

Kaneki watched, completely enraptured as the door opened. No officials came out. Just the convict. Sometimes they were scared, shaking even. Some cried and had to be pushed out. One time a women, who had slaughtered her own family, had banged against the door of the command building, begging to be spared. It was never long before a ghoul would jump up on the platform and drag them down.

Today was not one of those days.

Hachiro Maeda strutted out as soon as the door opened wide enough. He had thin, greasy hair, and an equally greasy grin. He came to a stop just at the stage's edge. The ghouls surrounding the stage immediately began behaving in way similar to a shark frenzy, something Kaneki read about in a book. They yelled and cursed, swiping at the convict's ankles.

Laughing, Hachiro Maeda jumped back at each attempt. He even went as far as to stomp on one particularly feisty hand.

"These are ghouls, hm?" Hachiro Maeda leered, as if speaking to an audience that cared. The inhabitants of the fourth ward had heard it all before.

Kaneki had lived in the ward for all his life, as had his mother, but few ghouls in the ward were old enough to remember a day when humans and ghouls lived together.

Likewise, every convict that had ever been dumped here had never seen a ghoul before. Kaneki always paid close attention to how they reacted. Most were scared, but some seemed utterly surprised that ghouls even existed. Today was different.

"My name is Maeda," The convict said, "Who is in charge here?" The crowd erupted into a roar of laughter.

"Answer me!" Hachiro Maeda hollered in irritation. Someone grabbed at his pant leg, ripping the material. "Don't fuck with me!"

"Do you think we're scared of _you_?" Yamori chuckled. The ghoul was a full head taller than most everybody else and standing at the front of the crowd.

"You should be," Hachiro Maeda warned, barring a mouth full of yellowed teeth.

"And why is that, human?" Yamori taunted, "You just messed with little kids, isn't that right?" Hachiro Maeda paled.

The convicts must not realize their charges were read to them. Kaneki had never seen one of them try this before. He couldn't help himself, Kaneki moved closer. He wanted to see what would happen.

"What are you t-talking about?" Hachiro Maeda bluffed, "I killed someone!"

Yamori laughed again, loud and crude sounding. He jumped up onto the stage in one swift movement. Hachiro Maeda eyes widened and he stumbled away. "I guess we have something in common then."

The crowd ate it up. Yamori frequently took the lead. Possibly because he was rumored to be cannibalistic, a sensitive subject within the ward. Cannibalistic ghouls rarely kept quiet about it but never bothered with the convicts either. Allegedly, they spent their time crawling around the edges of the ward. Yamori ruled over only the more organized center and north edge of the ward. Kaneki personally felt that his looks were enough to keep people at bay.

"W-what are you doing?" Hachiro Maeda stuttered. Yamori smiled in response, and red coated his eyes. The convict stumbled back and in the next second Yamori released his kagune, two thick, spiky limbs. "Stop!"

Yamori didn't listen. His kagune slammed forward, ripping into the convicts shoulder. The spray of blood and accompanying scream was impressive. The surrounding ghouls cheered him on. The next blow completely separated arm from body. Yamori tossed the bloodied limb into the crowd. A few of the weaker ghouls went for the easy meat. The rest watched anxiously, some visibly drooling.

The convict didn't stand a chance, didn't even really fight back. He just screamed and begged, but it all fell on deaf ears.

Yamori stabbed both hands through the man's stomach, throwing the intestines out to the crowd, just as he did the arm. Hachiro Maeda's body feel to the ground limp. Yamori picked it up one handed. Slowly, teasingly, Yamori walked to the edge of the stage.

Smiling smugly, he dropped the meat to the crowd. Instantly, the ghoul descended upon the carcass. Blood sprayed through the air and minor squabble broke out as people fought over choice cuts.

Kaneki watched on silently as he always did. He was nothing, he had no rank or name to these ghouls. He couldn't even join in the weaker ghouls that fought over the first initials chunks tossed into crowd. They would tear him to pieces, just like they did to Maeda.

Nevertheless, Kaneki always stayed and watched when the felons were dumped into the fourth ward. Whenever anyone questioned his interest he blamed boredom. But that wasn't quite true; he felt oddly compelled to watch. That wasn't always so, however. He used to step into the nearest store and look away.

It wasn't until he had been dared to. There was no formal schooling in the fourth ward, nothing like what Kaneki read about there being in the other wards. But children of the close age stuck together and learned what they could from willing adults.

One day, when he was ten, Kaneki was at Shunsen-san's home. Shunsen-san had a niece and a nephew-Ayato and Touka- who were a few years younger than Kaneki. Kaneki and a few other children who lived nearby would spend their afternoons at the home, where Shunsen-san tried to teach them to read and write.

On that particular day, Shunsen-san was feeling ill and left the children to their own devices. Ayato, a snarky and fearless child, called Kaneki a coward when he had covered his ears as the speakers began blaring the arrival of a new convict. Soon all the children, except Touka, joined the chant. Touka just called them all "little shits" and retired to her room.

Feeling helpless, Kaneki didn't fight back as they dragged him to the ward center. He still wasn't particularly tall, but at the time Ayato, four years younger than him, was nearly the same size. So he just let his feet drag in the dry dust, watching with unshed tears as the dust kicked up behind him. By the time they arrived all the ghouls had assembled.

They all stayed in the alley, suddenly too scared to step into the light. Not even Ayato pushed the matter. He stood right at Kaneki's side, a painful grip on his shoulder.

The convict was released. A girl, very young and very pretty. The voice on the speaker said she killed a lot of people. Kaneki had looked at Ayato's face. His eye was twitching. Her name was Rize Kamishiro and her hair looked like the wildflowers that grew next to his apartment.

She wasn't calm or sweet like her appearance. She shrieked and hollered rude things into the crowd. In no time she was pulled off the stage.

Kaneki watched silently as blood coated the ground and the faces of people he knew to be his neighbours. He listened as her screams escalating before cutting off entirely. He thought it was all over when suddenly a fight broke out near the back of the gathering, close to the alley full of children. A few moments later something went flying towards the children. A severed head.

Lilac hair still intact, the head stained the dirt red as it rolled to a stop at Kaneki's feet. Most of the children behind Kaneki fled, screaming all the while. Ayato pitched to the side and vomited.

Kaneki was frozen in place. Rize's face wasn't sweet like in his first glance nor was it twisted in the hateful expression she wore as she was dragged into the crowd. It was expressionless. Dirt and grime was already covering her pale skin. But the most alarming sight was the shallow chunk missing from the left cheek. Muscle and skin hung limply from a stark white cheekbone.

Kaneki's tears dried and he wiped at his running nose. Her eyes were closed. Had her eyes been red, like theirs? What exactly made her so different from all the ghouls in the fourth ward? He wanted to know so desperately. There were no books on that, at least not that Shunsen-san would read to them.

Kaneki looked over at Ayato again. Was he also desperate to know, to understand? Ayato was leaning against the wall, barely avoiding his own puddle of vomit. Kaneki frowned and faced forward again. There was someone advancing towards them. He was tall with slicked back blonde hair. His face was flat but his nose was incredibly wide. He came to a stop right before them, and scooped up the head by its head. It jerked and bobbed in the air like a puppet Shunsen-san let Kaneki play with sometimes.

The man smiled, looking just like a shark. Ayato spun on his heels, running away. Kaneki felt like his feet were glued to the dirt.

"Sorry, kiddies." He didn't sound sorry.

The man didn't linger, and Kaneki tried to ignore the hoots and hollers of the ghouls, whose attention had followed the man the whole time.

Eventually Kaneki's feet came unglued and he walked home. He didn't say anything to his mother about what he saw. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn't push Rize from his mind.

He would lay in his bed, paralyzed with some emotion he couldn't describe each time the speakers clicked on. He stayed put for one, two, three convict releases. By the fourth he couldn't stop himself. He jumped out of bed and ran down to the center, standing not in the alley, but in a store front. He stayed there and watched the wild frenzy of ghouls and he hadn't missed a release since then.

The day he first went to see a release by himself was a pinnacle of change. He remembered rushing home afterwards, feeling as if he was suddenly keeping hundreds of secrets. But instead of feeling guilty, it was exhilarating. He needed to talk to anyone, about anything. He was practically jumping up and down in excitement.

He ran home only to bump into Ayato and Shunsen-san outside his apartment door. They were looking for Touka. She'd been missing all day. Ayato wouldn't meet Kaneki's eyes and Shunsen-san was too weepy to notice.

Kaneki didn't think much of it at the time. Touka was nearly his age but seemed to have absolutely no interest in being his friend.

He still didn't think much of it when she never turned up again. People disappeared all the time. Shunsen-san continued teaching the neighbour children but grew more and more depressed and eventually Kaneki learned enough to teach himself. And two years from the day Touka disappeared, Shunsen-san died from grief. Or rather, she committed suicide.

Kaneki's mother preferred "died from grief". In Kaneki's opinion, Ayato was the one that had died. The boy had all but disappeared. He slinked into the shadows and was seen only in the bad parts of the ward. The parts were every moment of everyday were like the convict releases.

One time Kaneki thought for sure he had seen Ayato standing with the ghouls, as they teared apart some murderer.

But Kaneki hadn't thought about Ayato in a long time. Hadn't talked to him in even longer. In fact, he didn't talk much to anyone. He just read and read until the speakers turned on. He had been doing just that for the last eight years, and frankly, he wasn't sure how to do much else.

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The crowd around Maeda Hachiro, if there was anything left of the man, was dying down. Yamori still stood up on the stage, scanning the crowd carefully. Suddenly his head jerked up and he focused past the crowd. Right on Kaneki.

He smiled the same shark like smile from all those years ago. Kaneki swallowed uncomfortably, but he couldn't break the ghoul's gaze. Yamori jumped down from the stage, never breaking eye contact as he maneuvered his way through the crowd. He was nearly to the edge when Kaneki couldn't take it anymore.

He ran. Sprinted, actually. His heart was racing and he needed to get away. He didn't want to face Yamori ever again.

It made no sense. All those years ago he had managed to stand there before the big, looming goul. But now the mere thought of him and he was shaking. Was it because of all his actions Kaneki had witnessed over the years? Had that first kill not been enough to frighten Kaneki?

Only after getting several blocks away did Kaneki slow. His lungs burned, but it was a comfortable pain.

The contrast walking from the center to the east side of the ward was incredible. According to some of the older ghouls, the center and the east, west, north, and south apartment buildings had been build for the original incoming ghouls. Everything else built whenever the need arose by the ghouls themselves. But there was no currency system like other wards supposedly had. Instead people exchanged favors, or sometimes even meat.

People like Kaneki didn't participate in the convict releases, but they don't starve either. On the other side of the command building was another government run shop that portioned out human flesh from people who'd committed suicide. Everybody in the ward was accounted for and received a strict allowance. The shop was run by ghouls, but they were never seen outside the shop nor did they respond well to being questioned. People occasionally claimed that their missing family members would show up behind the counters of government run businesses. If that was true, none of the government paid ghouls were talking, just handing out meat and other random necessities.

Yamaoka-san, an elderly man who lived down the street from Kaneki, said that was how they controlled them. He said when he was younger and living in the eighth ward he could just reach out and eat any human he wanted. Kaneki had laughed at the absurdity but Yamaoka-san had just frowned in response.

Kaneki couldn't imagine a reality any different from his own. Some ghouls believed that there were other wards, full of ghouls. Some believed it was ghouls that were the majority, and the government was also full of ghouls.

Kaneki had no reason to believe in any of that, but he did know that a majority of the books he read did not even acknowledge ghouls. He then found it reasonable to assume that ghouls are living in a human world, rather than that the other way round.

And Kaneki was always desperate to learn more, to better form a picture of what existed on the other side of the walls . He read any text he could his hands on. There was no libraries- something Yamaoka-san mentioned there being in the other wards once when he saw Kaneki toting around a bunch of books-so Kaneki had to be more creative.

He traded things. Sometimes just labor or favors, sometimes the meat he was rationed. He learned a few years ago that he could go without eating for longer than most people. It made him shaky and irritable, but he'd only gone so long that he was having trouble with his kakugan once before.

The slight discomfort was worth it. Not too long ago he had gotten has hands on a copy of _The Black Goat's Egg,_ and Kaneki was in love. He needed to find more written by Sen Takatsuki, but the government run store didn't have anything like it. He had been talking to Takimoto, his neighbour, about it and he had recommended he go to the east side edge, claiming he had seen something similar in a little store.

Kaneki didn't want to believe him. Takimoto was hardly his friend, but he was nice enough and he had no reason to lie. But the east side edge- all the edges really- were dangerous. There was no government buildings to duck into, nor were there any cameras. Kaneki had never actually strayed that far from what people considered the safe parts of the ward, but he had heard plenty of rumors about what kind of people hung around there.

But lately Kaneki felt stuck in a rut. He had read and reread every book he had, and learned everything he could. He begged and borrowed and fasted until he could buy any book in his immediate area. With nothing left to do, Kaneki had no choice. He couldn't sit around and let paranoia and conspiracy fill his head like so many of the older ghouls.

And he had been planning for and putting off this moment for a long time. He surely had enough meat stocked away to get him a book, even if the prices were steeper on the edge.

The panic still thrumming through his system from Yamori, and the slight tug of hunger from saving his meat would hopefully keep his mind off of what could go wrong.

Letting himself into his apartment, Kaneki quietly greeted him mother who waved slightly in response. Completely focused on her work, she paid no mind as Kaneki filled a canvas backpack with several parchment wrapped packages from the refrigerator, all labeled _Ken Kaneki, Ghoul Number 895-13-8500, East Side Apartment._

Kaneki took a deep breath before slinging the backpack onto his shoulders. Today, for once, he wouldn't be a coward.


	2. Dizzy On The Comedown

Chapter Two: Dizzy On The Come Down

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Kaneki desperately tried to find a good walking pace. If he walked too fast he would seem weak, afraid, someone to pick on. Too sluggish and he might seem like a proud, arrogant idiot. Already he felt sweat gluing his shirt to his back. He fought the desire to pull at the hem. He needed to stay focused. He ducked into a store front as a group of loudly laughing ghouls passed by. His heart barely had room to beat all the way up in his throat.

Finally, the slow moving group passed and he slumped in relief against the door frame.

Someone cleared their throat, inches from Kaneki's ear. Jumping, Kaneki spun around hands held awkwardly in front of his body.

A tall, pale man stood, leaning down slightly to closely inspect Kaneki. His eyes were red, but he blinked calmly and his hands were clasped around his back. He wasn't preparing to attack. Kaneki knew what that looked like well enough. Nevertheless, Kaneki stumbled back a step and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Hello there," the man cocked his head to the side. One side of his head was closely shaven, the other had longer black hair that curled around the nape of his neck. "Welcome to my shop."

Kaneki looked around slowly. The store he had ducked into was small but cozy. It was bare and cluttered, at the same time. A large desk occupied a whole corner, and wall to floor metal shelving covered all the other walls. Strange materials and tools laid across the desk. Kaneki couldn't help his curiosity, he crept forward a bit. The man followed slowly at his heels.

Careful not to touch anything, Kaneki observed what he could. He eventually made his way over to the desk. Dozens of drawings littered the crystal clear glass desktop. The looked like mask or hoods. Possibly costumes. Kaneki was remember a child's book he read once. It had mentioned a holiday. Hallo's Eve or Hollow's something or another. Humans dressed up as scary monsters, who knows why.

It fascinated Kaneki to see something like this in the fourth ward. Looking up again, Kaneki noted that most of the shelves were completely empty. Kaneki had no clue what this store sold.

"What do you think?" The man asked, frightening Kaneki again. Kaneki tried to calm his nerves. He couldn't let his fear get the best of him.

"They are very nice. Do you...make these?" Kaneki answered, hesitating only slightly.

"Yes. These are masks. For when you need to hide," The man answered simply.

"People in masks cannot be trusted," Kaneki quoted in an absentminded whisper. The man had moved to stand next to Kaneki. He was slowly shuffling through the drawings, giving Kaneki ample time to admire how carefully drawn they were.

"My name is Uta," the man smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes."Today is my grand opening. Thank you for joining me-"

"Kaneki."

"Kaneki." Uta echoed appraisingly. "Perhaps I should give me very first client something special? To mark the occasion?" A cold finger trailed down the side of Kaneki's face. Before Kaneki could even tense up or pull away, Uta's other hand gripped the other side of his face.

With some small amount of gentleness, the man tilted Kaneki's head back, humming to himself all the while. Kaneki's whole body felt like live wire. He swallowed loudly, and Uta laughed lightly in response.

"Are you afraid, Kaneki?" Uta inquired, sounding honestly interested. "This shouldn't hurt in the slightest."

"Wha-at are you doing?" Kaneki asked instead. He gripped a corner of the desk. He could feel his knuckles going white.

"Trying to picture it…" Uta breathed lowly, "do you look better in black or white? Maybe grey. No, no. White. I like white. But something that won't stain."

Releasing Kaneki's face, Uta stepped away and began digging through rolls of fabric and materials. After a few minutes of just Kaneki's unreasonably loud heartbeat and fabric rustled, Uta turned back to Kaneki. He was holding a sheet of metal in one hand, and what appeared to be a glossy white rubber in the other.

"Come back in a week," the man mumbled, as set the materials down on the desk and scooped up his hair into a low ponytail. Clearing off part of the desk, he scooped up a small mallet and pick.

"Huh?" Kaneki blanched.

"It should be done in a week." Uta elaborated a little.

"I-I don't have anything to pay you with…" Kaneki winced. He didn't mean to get tangled in this mess. He had brought the meat for the books but-

"Don't worry about it, Kaneki." Uta shook his head gently, still not looking up from his work. He now appeared to be sketching something. "I said it was a gift, didn't I? Think of it this way, as my first customer, you can advertise for me."

"Thank you but I really can't…" Kaneki trailed off weakly, he didn't want to be in debt to this man.

"Close the door on the way out please?"

Just like that, Kaneki was dismissed. On top of that, he was all but obliged to return the next week. Kaneki hadn't been planning on spending so much time on the edges of the ward.

Stepping outside, it seemed like the sun had sank miles lower into the horizon, and was beginning to bloom into that radiant shade of orange he loved so much. Looking at it now from between the shabby and dark buildings surrounding him, the color seemed much less inviting. Shivering from the cold that was starting to settle in, and certainly not from something else, Kaneki turned back to his task at hand.

He really wanted to be back in his apartment before the sun set. Ducking his head, he continued his search. The further he walked away from the center of the ward, the narrower the alleys got.

Buildings were crammed to together, as if the ghouls who had built them were desperate to use every inch of space. The buildings in the center of the ward were juxtaposingly yards apart.

Eventually, Kaneki had to start walking sideways least his arms would scratch against the walls on each side. He didn't pass anyone. The sun was steadily lowering and anxiety crept up Kaneki's throat. He was certain he could find his way back, all he had to do was find a wall and walk in the opposite direction. But he couldn't imagine that many savory folk were about this late. It was probably around five in the afternoon, but it was the time of the year that the night outlasted the sun.

Kaneki's hands felt numb with worry. A few minutes later the distance seemed lighter, as if it lead into an open space without tall buildings to block what little sun remained. Kaneki sped up gratefully.

When Kaneki finally broke into the clearing it wasn't empty like he thought. There was a single story building but nothing else within at least twenty yards. Maybe kilometer behind the building was the wall.

The wall here was different from what he had seen from other parts of the ward. It was almost pristine. Very few scratches or dents in the metal surface. Instead of dirt paths, grass and wildflowers grew everywhere but a small worn path leading directly to the building. Kaneki lumbered forward hesitantly. The grass, a vibrant green, grew up to his waist. Rather than looking uncared for, it looked healthy and intensional.

As he slowly made his way up the narrow path the thin blades of glass tickled his arms. Kaneki looked down at the offending weeds. A lilac flower caught his eye. It was much shorter than the grass and was thus dwarfed. Kaneki, mindlessly reached down, brushing aside the grass in his way. He pinched the stem of the flower but right before he could pull the little bit of flora from the earth he heard a loud bang in front of him.

Releasing his find, Kaneki straightened back up and focused on the source of the noise. He was about ten feet from the door of the building at that point. Standing in the open doorway was a mildly bored looking boy around his own age. He had white hair pinned back haphazardly, however the strangest thing was what appeared to be red stitching that laced up his neck and lips.

"Are you done smelling the roses yet?" He had wide, empty eyes. Kaneki gulped. They looked pitch black from where he stood. "Hurry and come in, the clowns usually run by here this time every night."

The boy stepped away from the door but left it open. Feeling obliged, and alarmed at the prospect of "clowns", Kaneki followed the boy in, closing the door shut behind him. When Kaneki realized where he was, he nearly laughed in delight. It was a bookstore!

Small, cluttered and homey. The boy from before was nowhere in sight. The shelves were wooden and shabby looking. However, each was crammed tight with books from floor to ceiling. Four rows of shelves, each at least two yards long. To Kaneki's immediate left was a tall, equally shabby desk equipped with a lamp and small metal bell.

Trying his best not to smile foolishly, Kaneki descended down the first row. It was alphabetized! At this point Kaneki couldn't contain the smile. He dragged pale fingers across the spines of countless dusty hardcovers. Skipping to the next row over, Kaneki located the 'G' section.

Kaneki's eye's zeroed in on the titles. _Ghoul. Ghoul. Ghoul._ He chanted his goal in his mind. Kaneki couldn't stop the disappointed catch in his throat when the 'Ge-' section went directly into the 'Gi-' section. His hand fell to his side and his shoulders slouched forward.

"Looking for something in particular?" a lilting voice stated. Startled, Kaneki turned and met the eyes of the boy from earlier. They weren't black like he had thought before, but in fact a dark unnatural looking red. Kaneki lowered his gaze, intimidated. The boy was standing uncomfortably close to Kaneki. He was just a hair taller, and his chin was nearly resting on Kaneki's shoulder. "You couldn't find something and then you looked...disappointed."

This time it didn't sound like a question.

"Do you have anything on ghouls?" Kaneki mumbled, trying to squish himself against the bookshelf to create space. The other boy immediately took as large as a step closer as was possible.

"Ghouls?" The boy's eyes widened, but his face was still devoid of emotion. "What about ghouls? We're surrounded, what more do you need to know?"

"Maybe some history or biology?" Kaneki prompted quickly.

"Well these are books written by humans. Humans write about humans," The boy surmised vaguely. He finally stepped back and jammed his fingers into his pants pockets.

"Are there really no humans that will write about us? Humans write about animals, aliens, and made up creatures. Why not ghouls?" Kaneki fumed. There was no way that humans could shove them into a little ward and then forget about ghouls, right?

"I'm no author." The boy shrugged.

"Are there ghoul authors then?" Kaneki suggested. "If humans write about humans, then shouldn't ghouls write about ghouls?"

The boy squinted ever so slightly at Kaneki, before laughing hysterically. Bending at the waist, he slapped his knee weakly. After a few moments, the boy finally straightened. His lips were curved into a smile so wide the red stitching had burst. A small drop of blood was making its way down his chin. Kaneki suddenly felt a small stab of hunger, but nothing he couldn't ignore.

"Maybe you should write a book," the boy sounded teasing. "My name is Juuzo."

"Kaneki."

"Welcome to Anteiku, Kaneki." Juuzo reached past Kaneki and carefully pulled a book off a shelf, two above where Kaneki had been looking. He held it in front of Kaneki until he realized what he was doing and accepted the book. Its frayed and slightly moldy cover read _Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde._ The cover art was too damaged to make out. Flipping it over, Kaneki read the little blurb on the back.

"Sounds rather _done_ doesn't it?" Kaneki commented absentmindedly. He had flipped the book over again and was trailing his finger down it's worn cover.

" _Done?_ " Juuzo echoed in question.

"Unoriginal, stereotypical, a plot I've read countless times before…" Kaneki elaborated.

"Really?" Juuzo mused. "What if I told you it was the original? Or at the very least a book that has inspired generations of writing. It's an old book, Kaneki. Perhaps when it first came out it wasn't so... _done._ "

Kaneki flushed in embarrassment and gave the book in his hands a second glance. A man with two personalities. The _classic_ tale of a man with two different personalities.

"I've never met someone who knows so much about books," Kaneki admitted weakly. In all honestly, he hadn't met too many people that cared about books in the slightest. Kaneki's mother had mentioned once or twice that his father was well read, but Kaneki didn't remember he man and his mother was quick to clam up.

"I don't know much. Just what I've read here. The evenings are long," Juuzo brushed off, sounding honest rather than humble. "I like this book though. Return it soon please."

"Oh," Kaneki reached into his bag, fumbling to grab the packages of flesh. "How much do I owe you?"

"Don't worry about it. This is more of a library, really," Juuzo shook his head vehemently as the package Kaneki offered.

"Library?" Kaneki mumbled questioningly. He had never heard the word before.

"Uh, they're places you can borrow books from," Juuzo explained, sounding increasingly bored. "Take as many books are you'd like. There isn't any limit or time restraint, really. But keep in mind, I'm in charge of retrieving books that have been away too long."

Juuzo flashed Kaneki a sharp grin that further irritated the broken red stitches. A dangerous emotion shone in his eyes, and without another word the boy spun on his heels and disappeared down the row of books.

Hesitantly, Kaneki returned to browsing the books. There wouldn't be any books on ghouls and the reality of that left a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach. Kaneki refused to let this be the end of his search. If he couldn't get answers in written form, maybe he could find a ghoul old enough to recall life before the fourth ward. Or at least a ghoul whose parents had passed on stories.

Kaneki nabbed a few more books and tucked them into his bag, along with the book Juuzo had offered him. Just as he turned to leave, Kaneki barely heard a low cough from somewhere in the back.

He couldn't contain his curiosity. Slowly, making his way down the aisle, Kaneki found yet another surprise. Taking a right at the end of the aisle led to a short hallway. Peeling floral wallpapers did little to deter Kaneki.

When the hallway emptied into a room, Kaneki was met with the delicious smell of coffee. The smooth, rich aroma was so prominent that Kaneki couldn't believe he didn't smell it from the first room.

A long bar with metal barstools occupied the entire left wall. A man at least sixty was behind the bar. The room was homey, yet tastefully decorated. A few tables and chairs were arranged in the remaining space. Standing at a table and wiping it down was another man. He was tall and well built with silver hair. He looked up at Kaneki momentarily, but immediately went back to cleaning.

"Welcome," the older man behind the bar called in a smooth, deep voice. Kaneki slowly made his way across the room. At the man's small smile, Kaneki plopped down on a barstool.

"Can I get you a coffee?" The man offered kindly as he shined a glass with a white rag.

"I'm not sure what I could give you in return," Kaneki explained hesitantly, Juuzo was unimpressed with the meat Kaneki packed. What did ghouls in these parts trade if not flesh?

"Don't worry about things like that. This is a sanctuary." The man, smiled pleasantly. "All I can ask is for your continued patronage and support."

Before Kaneki could formulate a reply, the man had pulled out a clean glass and began preparing a cup. It was beautiful, in a way, watching the man's slow and careful moves. He had never seen someone perform such a simple task with with such intent and passion. The result was a rich and steaming cup of coffee.

Kaneki breathed in the delicate fragrance of roasted coffee. The first sip was heaven. Kaneki wasn't quite sure of the expression on his face but the old man chuckled, and even the stone faced man from before, who had made his way behind the bar, smiled lightly.

"This is delicious," Kaneki complemented, just in case his expression didn't convey his thoughts well enough.

"I'm truly glad you think so, young man," The man replied good naturedly. "My name is Yoshimura and I manage Anteiku. Yomo here helps me with it all." The other man, Yomo apparently, didn't look up as Yoshimura-san introduced him.

"Nice to meet you both. My name is Ken Kaneki," Kaneki smiled politely. It wasn't often he met new people in the ward's center. He expected to see more new faces than old in the edges, but he didn't anticipate the number of friendly, or at least normal faces he'd met.

The man gave another soft, closed eyed smile in response. Kaneki felt a bit of stomach warming surprise at how willingly this man closed his eyes around someone he had just met. Kaneki tried not to entertain the possibility that the older man simply just viewed Kaneki as such little of a threat.

"I've never seen you around before," Yoshimura commented amicably. It was hardly probing, but Kaneki felt compelled to answer.

"This is my first time here. My first time so far from the center, actually." Kaneki flushed in embarrassment. So far, everyone he had spoken to was so normal, kind even. He briefly wondered if the rumors about the dangers of the edge were just that-rumors. "I guess my curiosity was finally starting to eat away at me."

The man just stared back in response. Immediately, Kaneki moved to elaborate.

"I was mostly looking for some books. It seems I've depleted the supply back home," Kaneki felt weird referring to the center as his home when the edges were only a few hours away. Kaneki vaguely wondered if all the wards were small, or if they had been shoved into the smallest bit of space.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Yoshimura inquired politely.

"Not exactly. I found a couple things to read, but I was hoping to find something on ghouls," Kaneki confessed meekily. After speaking to Juuzo, he felt his endeavors were a bit foolish. Somehow he was still far from willing to give up.

Yoshimura chuckled deeply, but Kaneki didn't take offense.

"I can't say I've ever seen anything of that nature, but I'd be happy to keep an eye out for you," the manager offered. Kaneki smiled hesitantly, before nodding his thanks.

He raised his cup to his lips, only to discover the last dregs of his coffee were nearly ice cold. In fact, the room suddenly felt several degrees colder. Holding back a shiver, Kaneki downed the last bit, deeming the coffee too good to waste.

Climbing to his feet, Kaneki stuffed his frigid fingers into his pants pockets.

"I will come back, I promise," Kaneki murmured. He wasn't sure why he included the last part, the man hadn't asked. Exchanging one last kind glance, Kaneki made his way back out how he came in.

Juuzo was still nowhere in sight and Kaneki exited the store undisturbed. Stepping onto the path, his suspicions were confirmed. Night was firmly settled down, and the air was a biting cold.

Ducking his head, Kaneki started his journey home, fighting a sudden onslaught of fatigue. He had learned so much today, done so much he had never done before- yet the sun had still met the horizon as it had every day previous.

Kaneki breathed out a smile, and the air frosted before his eyes.

A/N: Hello! Thank you to everyone who read this chapter, the previous, and especially those who reviewed! I've been meaning to write this for a while, so the idea has festered a bit in my head. I do intend for their to be a pairing (with Kaneki), I haven't ever truly written a plot driven story with a romance. It has always been one or the other, so this is my attempt. I do warn that it won't be fluffy most or the time or even often. If anything it might be kinda open ended. A lot of stuff is going to be going down in Kaneki's world, not exactly prime romance time. I'm hoping for some subtleness, that- seeing that this story goes well- might lead to a sequel or just an epilogue. Basically, I want to set up the scene for more romance. Anyways, if you wanna have any say/ have any preference I do have a poll set up. I included the expected Touka, but also some pairings I rarely see or haven't seen. I want to try something new!

Thanks for reading, and if you have the time, please drop a review. I appreciate any comments on my work whether it's constructive or you just want rage at me.

~~~Have a lovely (I mean ghoulish) day!


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